Category Archives: Online Identity

Killing Fear part 7: Speak.

[Part one is here. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six.]

So, what our undiscussables? Here’s one. Talking. Speaking where we might be heard is a point of our professional fear.

In the past few years I’ve publicly griped about the American Chemical Society (hi, ACS guys! *waves*), Elsevier, EBSCO, Proquest, the quality of LIS education in America, Taiga, bad information policy legislation, the professional skill set of new librarians, whatever has me enraged at the moment. And some people have openly warned me off talking about these topics (hi ACS guys!), saying I should consider my actions before committing such a political act. And I say that saying true things, in public or in private, is not a political act, or a wrong one.

But we, librarians, seem to think it is. In fact, in June of 2012 at an ALA ERP training for librarians who want to participate in the work of our Committee on Accreditation, someone said that if a program has challenges, the ERP can say so, because it’s okay to write down true things. This was said to a group of librarians who had volunteered to participate in the evaluation and judgement of our graduate schools, and yet the panelist felt strongly that the group needed to be told it was totally okay to say true things in that context. In what world is it NOT OKAY TO SAY TRUE THINGS? Not one I want to live in.

An Inside Higher Ed essay says some interesting things about organizational change: “Meaningful organizational change requires five elements, and unless all five of them are present, the organization — whether a department, school, college, or university — remains static.” The piece argues that all five of these are necessary:

  1. Ability to change. You simply must be able to do the thing. (I cannot wish my hair straight.)
  2. Belief in the ability of the institution to change. Whether or not an institution is able to change, in order for it actually to change, its key stakeholders must believe it can. (Dumbo, you can fly without the feather!)
  3. Desire to change. Some institutions are able to change but, for one reason or another, the critical stakeholders don’t want it to. (I could become a marathon runner, but I don’t actually want to push myself that hard. True fact.)
  4. Desire to appear to change. Sometimes what halts modification of an institution is fear of the appearance of change. (Depending on which friends I visit when I’m in Illinois, I try hard to appear to be the girl I was 15 years ago, because I don’t want to lose my valued connections to old friends – even though I haven’t been that girl in ages.)
  5. Courage to translate ideas into action. (Knowing what to do and then bringing yourself to actually do it… that is hard.)

I think these all apply, in some way, to the way librarians move through the world, and how we choose to speak.

[image source]

We are a timid lot, afeared of rocking the boat. Why? What are we afraid of? Are we afraid of changing? Are we afraid of appearing to change? Do we not believe we can be something other? And why is truth now political? Where is our professional courage and self-confidence? If we’re going to muster the courage to translate our ideas into action, I strongly believe that we must acknowledge our culture of silence, and of fear, and the timidity of action that results.

I’ve been glared at and talked down to for daring to say true things in public, and I know others have had worse happen to them. But still, even so, a hundred other librarians could be talking, if we weren’t so scared of the consequences. More voices could be speaking in their own ways, measured, wild, or somewhere in between, if the powers that are in librarianship weren’t stifling them. We are all capable of speaking up, so I ask librarians to please consider: why aren’t you? Do you know why you’ve made your choices? Do you know what the worst is that could happen, and if you could handle it?

And library leaders, my peers, I ask of you: why aren’t your people speaking up and speaking out? Do you know what you’re doing to others by your actions and attitudes? Have you looked at, questioned, and affirmed your decisions lately?

Some librarians have asked and answered these questions already. Some have really valid reasons for their silence, and I respect that. I know we are not all empowered to shout from the hilltops, and doing so is unwise for many. What I also know, and don’t respect, is that we have a culture of silence by default, propagated and promulgated by the leaders in our field. So to my peers in positions of power and authority I say: stop that. Stop stifling open communication. Stop enforcing awkward silence on our profession. To librarians, I ask: consider where your fears are rooted, and consider whether that’s where you want to settle.

new frontiers sometimes suck

I just did something I’ve never done before. I deleted a tweet. You can guess which one.

I’d left it up because it’s a legitimate part of the record of my actions and communications, and while I’d preferred, on an emotional level, to delete it, I thought it mattered to leave it up as a part of the integrity of the whole debacle. I advocate for owning your shit, and so I was trying to do that.

But I’m done trying with this instance. The people who want to crucify me have it in screenshots. It’s cached wherever it is that the internet powers cache things. And I’m tired of making it yet easier for people to snipe at me, so it’s gone. Ask each other for copies of the screenshots if you need it, or screenshot it out of the post in which I apologize for saying it. Have at it.

The thing that I find most frustrating and disheartening is that yes, I said a crass and offensive thing about librarians. I’ve said equally crass and offensive things about my ex-husband, politicians, helicopter parents, anti-vaccine activists, American voters, Karl Rove, anti-environmentalists, racists, birthers, drug lords, child abusers, anti-choice activists, Westboro Baptist Church, you name it, if I feel passionate about it, I’ve been pissed off about it. And I’m passionate about libraries and librarianship. And I was pissed off. The difference is that in this instance I was angry and publicly vocal, I was angry and publicly vocal about my own profession, and I was angry and publicly vocal about my own profession before I spent any time figuring out what the underlying issues were. Any one of those three steps is my point of failure. I screwed up more than once, there.  And then I admitted it and apologized.

This is, apparently, not enough, and here’s where my frustration and disheartenment come in. Apparently it’s not enough to acknowledge that you screwed up, and apologize for it. Apparently, I need to do something more.

What that might be, I have no damn clue.

And at this point, I’m not inclined to care. There is no discourse here. There is no integrity. So to hell with it. Tweet deleted. Apology uttered into the vasty deeps of the internet. Accept it if you will, or keep posting screenshots and anger if you won’t.

May we all emerge better people tomorrow, and learn from our mistakes.

in which i apologize and ask for clarity

Warning: bad language ahead.

This morning, I wrote this:


@ this has to be the stupidest, most pointless kerfuffle I’ve EVER HEARD OF. Fucking bunhead librarians make me sick.
@jenica26
Jenica Rogers

I also wrote this:


Heartbreaking & appalling that w/all the issues facing libs, people are passionately complaining that they didn’t get free books at #ala12.
@jenica26
Jenica Rogers

And this:


@ I respectfully disagree. Posts i’m seeing = complaining that BLOGGERS TOOK OUR BOOKS, not that publishers weren’t available.
@jenica26
Jenica Rogers

 

It’s that first one that pissed people off, though.

Sorry about that.

No, really. I am. I apologize to those I offended. I use the phrase “bunhead librarian” to mean people in my profession who I believe are focused on small or outdated issues instead of important and big ones. It’s personal code. I also say fuck a lot. But I didn’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings or call anyone names. I am generally opposed to those things, and broke my own rule. I was angry, and frustrated, and wrote something that was probably better sent as a DM to my friend Andy. I wrote it in public, though, and offended people.

I do that sometimes.

And while I am sorry for the upset, and my not-so-awesome judgement, I’m still waiting for someone to write something that’s clearer about why the bloggers and ARCs at ALA are a problem worthy of a) this level of passion, and b) an institutional response. From where I stand and in my experience, vendors give away free stuff to lure you to their booths so they can sell you things. If they run out of lures, we can still go get them to sell us things. I’m not clear where the crisis is, and the responses on Twitter are abysmally bad at doing anything other than making advocates look more shrill and shitty than I was.

What should I be reading to make sense of this?

opting in and opting out

I just got an email from the University of Michigan’s School of Information informing me that they have created an account for me, using my name and email address, in their job placement database, because they noticed that I publicly posted a job ad relevant to their students. And now I can use iTrack to post my job where their students and alumni can see it! And receive communication from their students! And their newsletters, which they helpfully chose to opt me into!

Uh, no.

I responded with an immediate request to be removed from their database and a rejection of their approach. You do NOT create un-asked-for accounts using people’s personal information and then inform them of that action. You can, and possibly should, proactively market your new services, and encourage people to opt in. But this? Crossed a line.

The Creepy Line. The “I like the tshirt you’re wearing in your Facebook photo” and “your hair smells so pretty” and seriously, you’re in the bushes outside my window? Line.

And suddenly I stopped, and thought, “Okay, but we do that for our campus users. They get a SUNYCard and they get a dining hall account, and swipe-card door access, and a library account, and an email account, and a Moodle account, and a Bursar’s account…” But it’s different. Those are people who have already opted into a community. They are already members of a self-selected group, of SUNY Potsdam community members.

I am not a University of Michigan community member. I’m not an alumna, I’m not a donor, I’m not even an acquaintance. Existing on the internet and posting jobs on my blog and on our campus website does not make me an opted-in member of a community. It does not give others rights to do things in my name. It does not authorize unsought paternalistic actions conducted by others on my behalf.

So then I wonder if we should be assuming those rights over our users. How far can we assume the opt-in goes? We talk about LDAP, and how if we get everything linked up the way we want to, we can auto-create ILLiad accounts that authenticate to Campus Computer Accounts the same way our ILS database does. And right now I’m wondering: do we have the right to presume to do so? Where are the boundaries of the institutional relationship? What’s the bell curve of user expectation of that relationship look like, and where does “hell yeah, create accounts for me” fall in comparison to “why do you think you have the right to do that with my data?”

I don’t know the answer. But I know how I felt just now, and I’ll store it away for the next time we start assuming rights to use our good intentions to help our users by doing stuff for them, unasked an uninvited.

kind of creepy, dude.

Y’all:

This, right here? Is kind of creepy. Don’t send me messages like this.

Hi Jenica,

Just stopped by to say grrrrrreat picture and quote.

[male librarian]

See also: The Creepy Librarian Stalker Hypothesis.

I could get into the politics and assumptions of sending the above comment to a female librarian, and I could get into the fine line between flirting and communicating and creeping, but really, I’m not going to. Go read Sarah’s post. And treat me like a human being that you respect. Otherwise I’m gonna ban your ass.

The end.